Write Your Story: Peter Stark
Presented by the Leopold Writing Program in partnership with the Santa Fe International Literary Festival.
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"Lost is not a failure. It is a skill. Americans have always discovered themselves by pushing beyond the edge of the map."
― Peter Stark, “Last Empty Places” Podcast What have you discovered about yourself in a time when you felt lost: geographically, spiritually, or otherwise?
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What have you discovered about yourself in a time when you felt lost: geographically, spiritually, or otherwise?
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I lost my sense of self and way 5 years ago. I made the difficult decision to give up being an educator of elementary students to be a full time caregiver for my 97 year old mother. Our relationship has not been easy.
Recently she moved in to an assisted living facility here in Santa Fe ( where I was raised since 1964). I have embraced my new freedom! Three weeks ago I left to camp my way out to meet my cousin who had secured a spot in Yosemite Valley. Along the way I was camping near Mt. San Antonio- in New Mexico. It’s an area that is known for large herds if elk. My 2002 Eurovan somehow locked me out with the engine running. I was at 10,000 feet and the winds were fierce. At any rate - due to the hoodie and sweatpants I had on - and especially a rubber mat that I took along. I ended up walking 9 miles in the 1/3 moonlight in below 40 degree temps with 60 mile an hour winds. I thought the daybreak would never come. Eventually I flagged down some very kind young men from Taos. I suppose it was a “walkabout” for a 67 year old woman who was not sure if she wanted to continue on with life. - Julie Noyes Long |
Years ago, when in Spain for the running of the bulls, I got separated from my traveling companions and had no idea of the name of the pension where we were staying. I wandered around thinking I recognized the building, only to discover time after time that is was another weather-worn building that was not the pension. I met a young Spaniard who lived led in Pamplona or was it another tourist? We drank quite a bit of wine and were drunkenly stumbling around holding each other up and he was urging me to join him in his room.
I learned I could say no, even if it meant sitting up all night in the entry to his building. After an extremely uncomfortable night, I walked outside and was delighted to see my friends watching the bulls and the brave running ahead of them or jumping on barriers to the side to avoid getting gored. - Anonymous The woman in the dream asked,“Do you want to teach Indian children then?” Although I wasn’t a teacher, I set out the next day on a ping-pong path from Florida to Arizona via Minnesota.
Seeking a route from one highway down to the next, I found myself on a meandering dirt road in Kansas surrounded by thousands of cattle. GPS hadn’t been invented yet and I felt thoroughly lost, but there was nothing to do but keep going. Eventually I made it through the herd, and came out at a crossroads in Kismet, Kansas. Kismet. Destiny. Fate. Kismet was my Sufi name and later became my Burning Man name. Whenever I feel lost, I do my best to take a breath and remember that I’m on a journey of kismet. Traveling on, that night I set foot in Santa Fe for the first time and I live here 50 years later But that’s another kismet story. - Kate Hawke |
